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Oct

31

2013

(not provided): A Horrifying Halloween Tale from Mojo Media Labs

Inbound Marketing

(not provided): A Horrifying Halloween Tale

Once upon a workday bland, while I Googled mouse in hand,
Over many a quaint and curious blog post of keyword-dense bore,
As I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my office door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my office door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the mid-September,
as I searched for personae more targeted than before.
Eagerly I wished results; for 35 year old adults
Inspiring new phrases- keyword phrases I could shoot for
For the rare and radiant buyer whom prior I’d ignored -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the small, uncertain Bing results of each little market
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic phrases never thought before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some coworker entreating entrance at my office door -
Some great coworker entreating entrance at my office door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Mike' said I, `or Nikole, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my office door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I leaned wide outside; -
cubicles there, and nothing more.

Deep into that workspace peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, considering lists of keywords I’d used before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the couches gave no token,
And the only phrase there on my mind was “No More”
Here I’d stuck, no other words for “French Door”-
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into my cat posts turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something in the lobby;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the highway noise and nothing more!'

Across the office came a whirring, then, with an electric stirring
A monitor flashed with videos of changes to abhor.
Google updates of increasing scale, an inbox full of haunting mail;
the main idea which stands- easy research now is done for
simple keyword research now is done for
lengthy and laborious, for evermore

Then this wise old Engine, beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the announcement it swore,
`Though keyword results be hidden,' I said, `art surely not forbidden.
Ghastly grim and ancient Engine, unpaid results decided-
Tell me where analytics on my clients’ Organic resided!'
Quoth the Engine, `Not Provided.'

 

Edgar Allan Poe - Not Provided

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